Oh my gosh mamas. I absolutely need to share my thoughts on this. With the weekend upon us let's talk mom dating shall we? You know you have thought about it and you know you want to talk about it. Do you ever feel when you meet a new mom with kids maybe around the same age as yours that you may be in a swipe left, swipe right situation? Have you ever had another mom want to mom date you and put the moves on pretty hard? Did you get that "punched in the gut" kind of feeling because you're unsure if this is something pursuing? It brings back all of the stages of emotions of well dating. You want the best outcome and you don't want anyone to get hurt (specifically the kids) but you need to see if this person is worth acceptance into your tribe. Seriously what happens once we become moms? It's like we get right back on the dating train again but this time we are not just thinking about ourselves we are thinking how any relationship from here on out could actually impact the entire family. Think this doesn't effect your significant other...wrong. Read on.
When meeting a new mom you start off like any other meet and greet. Small talk. The dreadful small talk. How old are your kids? How many kids do you have? What do you do? Where are you from? Blah Blah. These are just mom fillers. There is an entirely separate conversation going on in your mind while you're physically having this conversation, I kid you not, and I guarantee it goes something like this, "Do I sound interesting and like someone she would want to hang out with? Could we be friends? I could use more mom friends right? I'm sure she has a ton of mom friends. She probably doesn't need more mom friends. Would our kids get along? Would our spouses get along? Wait let me look for a ring maybe she isn't married. Ring got it. Maybe this could turn into a double date!? I really could use a girls night though. She seems like someone who would do a girls night? That could be fun! Do I sound upbeat enough? I would want to be friends with me why wouldn't she?" Before you know it your heart is racing and you have begun sweating in all. the. crevices (pits, boobs, the Bermuda triangle). Wait, that could be hormones. Hmmm.
And can we talk play dates!? Holy hell. Have you ever gone to a moms group or new play date? Here's the inner dialogue, and I quote, before you even leave the house, "What should I wear? What should they wear? If I put them in jeans will that be too dressy? Sweatpants? Too casual? I'll go with sweatpants, wait maybe not. We can't make it look like they don't have something decent to wear but they will only be playing so do I want to dirty the one pair of jeans they have? Should I bring something? Will I look desperate for mom friends if I do? Well I kind of am but I don't want them to know that. If I don't bring something will I be the only one that didn't? I'll make something. Wait do they eat? Of course they eat, but what? Low carb? No carb? No sugar? No Lactose? Paleo? Do they have allergies? Do I have time to make something? Coffee, I will pick up coffee. What mom doesn't need coffee? Crap Starbucks or Dunkin? I wonder how many moms will be there? I hope they like me. I hope I like them. Will they be my type? Do I have a type? Am I a type? What am I going to wear? Crap now we're going to be late."
I now bring you to the other side of mom dating. I call this The Mom Fade. Have you ever thought you made a mom friend and things were going really well? Kids got along, the MOMosas shared brought on great conversation and heck maybe even your spouses got along but then suddenly you don't hear from them? You text them to set up play dates and they don't get back to you? You give it some time because well life. You're busy so surely they have to be. Time passes and you haven't heard a thing. What the F*#k? You may have fallen victim to the Mom Fade. Personally anyone that is going to give you the Mom Fade for absolutely no reason at all is not worth the entry into your circle of awesome. As moms we need outlets. We need to be hot messes with other moms and know that we will not be judged but loved more than ever. I will leave this here because we have an unspoken duty to be there for each other. Period.
The pressure that goes into mom dating is real guys and honestly mom dating is just hard! We just have to remember that we are truly amazing and so is our tribe so anyone that wants in is the lucky one. It's also important to remember that we really can't be everything to everyone. Be unapologetically you and the world will respond in kind! Cheers mamas! We are all incredible!
Michele
Oh my gosh mamas. I absolutely need to share my thoughts on this. With the weekend upon us let's talk mom dating shall we? You know you have thought about it and you know you want to talk about it. Do you ever feel when you meet a new mom with kids maybe around the same age as yours that you may be in a swipe left, swipe right situation? Have you ever had another mom want to mom date you and put the moves on pretty hard? Did you get that "punched in the gut" kind of feeling because you're unsure if this is something pursuing? It brings back all of the stages of emotions of well dating. You want the best outcome and you don't want anyone to get hurt (specifically the kids) but you need to see if this person is worth acceptance into your tribe. Seriously what happens once we become moms? It's like we get right back on the dating train again but this time we are not just thinking about ourselves we are thinking how any relationship from here on out could actually impact the entire family. Think this doesn't effect your significant other...wrong. Read on.
When meeting a new mom you start off like any other meet and greet. Small talk. The dreadful small talk. How old are your kids? How many kids do you have? What do you do? Where are you from? Blah Blah. These are just mom fillers. There is an entirely separate conversation going on in your mind while you're physically having this conversation, I kid you not, and I guarantee it goes something like this, "Do I sound interesting and like someone she would want to hang out with? Could we be friends? I could use more mom friends right? I'm sure she has a ton of mom friends. She probably doesn't need more mom friends. Would our kids get along? Would our spouses get along? Wait let me look for a ring maybe she isn't married. Ring got it. Maybe this could turn into a double date!? I really could use a girls night though. She seems like someone who would do a girls night? That could be fun! Do I sound upbeat enough? I would want to be friends with me why wouldn't she?" Before you know it your heart is racing and you have begun sweating in all. the. crevices (pits, boobs, the Bermuda triangle). Wait, that could be hormones. Hmmm.
And can we talk play dates!? Holy hell. Have you ever gone to a moms group or new play date? Here's the inner dialogue, and I quote, before you even leave the house, "What should I wear? What should they wear? If I put them in jeans will that be too dressy? Sweatpants? Too casual? I'll go with sweatpants, wait maybe not. We can't make it look like they don't have something decent to wear but they will only be playing so do I want to dirty the one pair of jeans they have? Should I bring something? Will I look desperate for mom friends if I do? Well I kind of am but I don't want them to know that. If I don't bring something will I be the only one that didn't? I'll make something. Wait do they eat? Of course they eat, but what? Low carb? No carb? No sugar? No Lactose? Paleo? Do they have allergies? Do I have time to make something? Coffee, I will pick up coffee. What mom doesn't need coffee? Crap Starbucks or Dunkin? I wonder how many moms will be there? I hope they like me. I hope I like them. Will they be my type? Do I have a type? Am I a type? What am I going to wear? Crap now we're going to be late."
I now bring you to the other side of mom dating. I call this The Mom Fade. Have you ever thought you made a mom friend and things were going really well? Kids got along, the MOMosas shared brought on great conversation and heck maybe even your spouses got along but then suddenly you don't hear from them? You text them to set up play dates and they don't get back to you? You give it some time because well life. You're busy so surely they have to be. Time passes and you haven't heard a thing. What the F*#k? You may have fallen victim to the Mom Fade. Personally anyone that is going to give you the Mom Fade for absolutely no reason at all is not worth the entry into your circle of awesome. As moms we need outlets. We need to be hot messes with other moms and know that we will not be judged but loved more than ever. I will leave this here because we have an unspoken duty to be there for each other. Period.
The pressure that goes into mom dating is real guys and honestly mom dating is just hard! We just have to remember that we are truly amazing and so is our tribe so anyone that wants in is the lucky one. It's also important to remember that we really can't be everything to everyone. Be unapologetically you and the world will respond in kind! Cheers mamas! We are all incredible!
Michele
