We have days where we tell each other "I don't feel like parenting today." We're just that tapped out. I think what we are secretly saying to each other is we want to go back to the days of staying in bed on the weekend and having coffee. We want to get in the car and just go. We want to know the feeling of grocery shopping and actually leaving with food for us. We want to come home and hop on the treadmill or the spin bike and spend our time on us. We want to live life, just the two of us, just for the moment. It won't always be this way. Our boys will grow up and we will look back and wonder how the time could go by so fast. We will get our time together again outside of the boy's bed time. We will be staring at each other in the midst of silence, a long silence. We'll get there sooner than we think. Remember all of the amazing things time has brought us, and these moments in time are just that, moments and one day we will get back to that unscheduled life.
Until then we will trade in the morning news for Daniel Tiger. We will replace freely leaving the house with becoming nearly unraveled with trying to get the boys to keep their shoes on. We will put off our workouts to spend a little more time on the swing-set in the summer sun. We will trade in being double fisted with adult beverages to being double fisted with sippy cups of apple juice. We will juggle the chaos, the blowouts, the tantrums, and the mess and we will do it together. We will make mistakes, we will never know what we're doing and we will disagree on the right thing to do but I wouldn't trade it for anything and I know you wouldn't either. I remember the days when we were adamant that we were not having kids. We loved the life we had until one night I looked at you and asked if you thought we would regret that decision. You simply answered, "yes." We are on the path meant for us, we just have to remember that we'll get there.
I am so proud of the team our boys learn from day in and day out. We are so far from perfect and yes at times I wonder if they think we are truly insane but I believe in us. I believe in the relationship that these babes of ours are watching grow. Yes we are still growing and I hope we never stop. I hope we never stop learning about each other and never stop believing in why we started this journey in the first place and I'm not referring to the journey to start a family, I am referring to the journey of the two of us. We started this gig remember? Just you and me. Let’s never forget where we started because we have become so focused on the whirlwind that our life is right now. Just you and me.
Dear Husband, we'll get there.
