There is also the emotional side of having multiples. They are, for the most part, at the same stage thus in turn I feel like I have to be two people. I constantly worry that I may have given one more attention than the other and the truth is I probably have. I have one that wants me for everything and is much more emotional and quite sensitive. The other is far more independent and strong willed, we call him the one man wrecking crew, but because of the other I feel as if I don't spend as much time with him. We do bottles before bed and many nights my sensitive one just wants me and the only way to get him to settle down is to remove him from where his brother is and take him into his room where it is quiet (just a phase like anything else but our reality right now). The other one would drink his bottle anywhere. Again that push and pull. In the beginning I used to compare them all the time. If one reached a milestone and the other didn't I would fixate on that. As they have gotten older I'm not as hyper focused on that and really do look at them as two different individuals. I have learned that in order to let them be who they really are and embrace them in all their uniqueness you just cannot compare. That is incredibly challenging when you are a mom of multiples.
I'm very grateful that my husband and I are a team because it just wouldn't work. Actually on many days it doesn't. We wake up with a plan for it being a great day and then everything goes to shit all because they didn't want cheerios in their cup and wanted to hold the box. Despite all of the mess, the craziness, double the tantrums, double the illness and whatnot I would not trade a thing. These two look out for each other and the older they get the more pronounced that is. They have a bond that could not be explained by any logic or science. Maybe next time when someone asks me "how I do it" with twins I will reply, "I will take that as a compliment" because I guess at the end of the day we do it somehow. We all do it somehow, even those that do not have multiples. We all have challenges and days where we think we may have things down and days where we can't wait to call it a day.
Sending love to all our moms and dads out there who wake up day in and day out to the unknown and keep giving it their all.
Michele
There is also the emotional side of having multiples. They are, for the most part, at the same stage thus in turn I feel like I have to be two people. I constantly worry that I may have given one more attention than the other and the truth is I probably have. I have one that wants me for everything and is much more emotional and quite sensitive. The other is far more independent and strong willed, we call him the one man wrecking crew, but because of the other I feel as if I don't spend as much time with him. We do bottles before bed and many nights my sensitive one just wants me and the only way to get him to settle down is to remove him from where his brother is and take him into his room where it is quiet (just a phase like anything else but our reality right now). The other one would drink his bottle anywhere. Again that push and pull. In the beginning I used to compare them all the time. If one reached a milestone and the other didn't I would fixate on that. As they have gotten older I'm not as hyper focused on that and really do look at them as two different individuals. I have learned that in order to let them be who they really are and embrace them in all their uniqueness you just cannot compare. That is incredibly challenging when you are a mom of multiples.
I'm very grateful that my husband and I are a team because it just wouldn't work. Actually on many days it doesn't. We wake up with a plan for it being a great day and then everything goes to shit all because they didn't want cheerios in their cup and wanted to hold the box. Despite all of the mess, the craziness, double the tantrums, double the illness and whatnot I would not trade a thing. These two look out for each other and the older they get the more pronounced that is. They have a bond that could not be explained by any logic or science. Maybe next time when someone asks me "how I do it" with twins I will reply, "I will take that as a compliment" because I guess at the end of the day we do it somehow. We all do it somehow, even those that do not have multiples. We all have challenges and days where we think we may have things down and days where we can't wait to call it a day.
Sending love to all our moms and dads out there who wake up day in and day out to the unknown and keep giving it their all.
Michele
