Is there any moment that stands out to you the most?
Yes in the hospital. When you were crying and you just weren't yourself. You weren't talking much and were just staring out into the parking lot and said you were going to have a panic attack. I was very, very scared. I didn't know what was wrong. All I could think to do was get you the nurse and a doctor. I knew it had to be something serious when I saw the number of medical professionals come to the room.
How do you feel when I have a bad day now?
I feel much more informed than I previously did and I feel better able to work thru those days with you. Albeit it took going thru it to gain that experience but in many ways it made both of us stronger. I feel confident in your ability to cope with your moments and try to talk you thru it. I try and be as patient as possible and just let you work thru it and use whatever outlet you may need whether it is going for a run, just getting out of the house by yourself or writing. I think this blog has helped you work thru some of those emotions as well.
When did you notice that there was hope and possibly things may be getting better?
The scariest day by far was the day I had to return to work. It was about two weeks after the boys were born. We didn't have much help and I knew you were going to be home alone with the boys. I was absolutely terrified to walk out the door that morning but then you looked at me and said, "I've got this." There was something about the way you said it that gave me a glimmer of hope that you could work thru this. I remember checking in on you almost every hour. You did it because you had to, and I know it wasn’t easy and I know how hard your fought thru the crying spells, but I think you proved to yourself how strong you are.
What do you want others to know about PPD and PPA?
It's important to know that your wife did not choose this. This is not indicative of who she is or who she will be as a mother. We have to step it up and be there as hard as it is. And trust me it is hard as hell. It is impossible for us to truly understand what you are going thru so all the more reason to be present. Be supportive. There isn't a manual that tells you what to do so just be that rock and know that it does get better with time if you work at it. Be a team. You need to work thru this together because it does impact the entire family. -
This was not easy for him, I could see it. It brought us back to so many dark days. Days where I felt the light would never shine upon me again. Days where I hated who I was and wondered if I would ever feel like a whole person again and not this hollow shell. He saw me thru it all. He stepped up to the plate big time when I couldn't and I didn't want to. PPD and PPA don't define you by any means but when you are in the thick of it, and when you have bad days, it sure can feel like it does.
Awareness is one of the most important words used in the interview with my husband. There needs to be much more of an awareness to this underserved topic and I mean from both the health professional side and the family perspective. My husband and I never talked about it when inwas pregnant. No one ever talked about it with him. How could that be? How could that happen? Being informed is key here. I was extremely lucky to know right when it began what was going on. So, SO many women do not and chalk it up to the blues. Talk to her. Hear her and listen to her. Do not take silence to mean she is ok. Hold her hand. Show her that you will walk this path with her. Sense her and anything that may seem off. When I meet people or if any of my friends tell me they are expecting one of the first things I make sure I mention to them is, "If you feel off in any way whatsoever; if you just don't feel like yourself do not wait. Speak up and call your doctor." Some may say I’m nuts for saying that right off the bat (I do say congratulations first don’t worry) but I will do whatever I can to save someone from going thru what I did. It is a critical message that needs to be heard.
For all the significant others out there holding it down and walking side-by-side with her thru this you are my heroes.
Michele
Is there any moment that stands out to you the most?
Yes in the hospital. When you were crying and you just weren't yourself. You weren't talking much and were just staring out into the parking lot and said you were going to have a panic attack. I was very, very scared. I didn't know what was wrong. All I could think to do was get you the nurse and a doctor. I knew it had to be something serious when I saw the number of medical professionals come to the room.
How do you feel when I have a bad day now?
I feel much more informed than I previously did and I feel better able to work thru those days with you. Albeit it took going thru it to gain that experience but in many ways it made both of us stronger. I feel confident in your ability to cope with your moments and try to talk you thru it. I try and be as patient as possible and just let you work thru it and use whatever outlet you may need whether it is going for a run, just getting out of the house by yourself or writing. I think this blog has helped you work thru some of those emotions as well.
When did you notice that there was hope and possibly things may be getting better?
The scariest day by far was the day I had to return to work. It was about two weeks after the boys were born. We didn't have much help and I knew you were going to be home alone with the boys. I was absolutely terrified to walk out the door that morning but then you looked at me and said, "I've got this." There was something about the way you said it that gave me a glimmer of hope that you could work thru this. I remember checking in on you almost every hour. You did it because you had to, and I know it wasn’t easy and I know how hard your fought thru the crying spells, but I think you proved to yourself how strong you are.
What do you want others to know about PPD and PPA?
It's important to know that your wife did not choose this. This is not indicative of who she is or who she will be as a mother. We have to step it up and be there as hard as it is. And trust me it is hard as hell. It is impossible for us to truly understand what you are going thru so all the more reason to be present. Be supportive. There isn't a manual that tells you what to do so just be that rock and know that it does get better with time if you work at it. Be a team. You need to work thru this together because it does impact the entire family. -
This was not easy for him, I could see it. It brought us back to so many dark days. Days where I felt the light would never shine upon me again. Days where I hated who I was and wondered if I would ever feel like a whole person again and not this hollow shell. He saw me thru it all. He stepped up to the plate big time when I couldn't and I didn't want to. PPD and PPA don't define you by any means but when you are in the thick of it, and when you have bad days, it sure can feel like it does.
Awareness is one of the most important words used in the interview with my husband. There needs to be much more of an awareness to this underserved topic and I mean from both the health professional side and the family perspective. My husband and I never talked about it when inwas pregnant. No one ever talked about it with him. How could that be? How could that happen? Being informed is key here. I was extremely lucky to know right when it began what was going on. So, SO many women do not and chalk it up to the blues. Talk to her. Hear her and listen to her. Do not take silence to mean she is ok. Hold her hand. Show her that you will walk this path with her. Sense her and anything that may seem off. When I meet people or if any of my friends tell me they are expecting one of the first things I make sure I mention to them is, "If you feel off in any way whatsoever; if you just don't feel like yourself do not wait. Speak up and call your doctor." Some may say I’m nuts for saying that right off the bat (I do say congratulations first don’t worry) but I will do whatever I can to save someone from going thru what I did. It is a critical message that needs to be heard.
For all the significant others out there holding it down and walking side-by-side with her thru this you are my heroes.
Michele
