08 Jan I’m Sorry
Ok. So parents of multiples are continuously pummeled with the regular comments and questions, “Double trouble,” “Are they twins, can I see?,” “You have your hands full,” “Are they identical or fraternal?,” “How do you do it?” and the list goes on. I have actually come to terms with the fact that we will be a tourist attraction everywhere we go but for once it would be nice to hear, “Double the love,” or “You have a full heart,” but I won’t hold my breath on that one. Now don’t get me wrong I am also drawn to multiples when I see them but I do now find myself staring longer at the parents than the babies. Maybe it’s because I need reassurance, or maybe I’m wondering if they do or just maybe I’m wondering if they are as much of a hot mess as I am and I secretly want to high five them. Who knows and I’m absolutely not opposed to striking up a conversation about my kids or our experience! I think they are the coolest little dudes ever but there are a number of questions and comments that really do plague me though and I need to talk about them and they are, “Are you going to try for that girl!?,” Do you wish you had one and one?,” and surprisingly the ever popular believe it or not, “I’m sorry!” So I want to just lay out my thoughts on these once and for all.
First, unless you are going to continually deposit money into my account I will not play reproduction roulette and “try for that girl” because the last I checked kids are not free. Second, my husband and I went thru a tiny hell to even become pregnant so I didn’t wish for anything but healthy kids and a healthy pregnancy. Actually becoming a mom at one point seemed as if it wasn’t going to happen at all so my wish was for a child. Are you asking me that because you expect me to say, “Yes I wish that one of my sons was a girl?” Please don’t and let’s just cut our losses at this point and end the conversation. Third, and lastly, maybe I missed something but what is there to be sorry about? Is it a curse to have multiples? Will I be banished? What does this comment even mean? Actually I am sorry for you because you clearly don’t know what warriors we are for carrying and growing multiple humans at one time and how most times having multiples is one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive so hopefully I’ve cleared that up for you. If not, then I kindly ask you to keep that one to yourself never to be used again.
Would love to start a conversation about this, especially with other parents of multiples! We are in this together! Hoping your week is getting off to a fabulous start everyone and just know that those littles you have were meant to be yours and are incredibly lucky to have you!
You are enough.